what 2012 has taught me

I was in the middle of cleaning my room just now (which I really didn't want to get into to start with), and I decided to take a break (because we all know five minutes of cleaning = ten minutes of internet time). The internet, however, is also boring, so I decided I'd write up this post I've been planning for a bit.

BUT FIRST, I want you to meet my new puppy! Her name is Penny, but we can't take her home yet because she's only 3 weeks old. She's a maltese, and I am so, so excited for her to be a new part of my family. She doesn't even weigh a pound yet!

Anyway, back on track. I feel like I'm always one of those people who is waiting for something major to happen to me -- like lessons in my life are going to come only in major events. I guess I'm still waiting for my life to be a Lifetime movie (I'm sorry, I'm addicted... An Amish Murder is on on January 6th -- am I the only one totally excited?) or a bad "reality" show. 

After seeing hellokatyxo's video by the same name, I realized I've learned a lot this year, and even though some of them did come in big dramatic ways, a lot of them slipped by without me really noticing. Some of them are really trivial, and I threw them in just for fun. I figured since tomorrow is the last day of the year, now would be a perfect time to do this. 

What 2012 Has Taught Me:

• What is right for you is not always right for everyone else or what everyone else thinks is right for you. I guess this all goes back to "if everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you?", but this was definitely my most dramatic lesson this year. In fact, I have a post coming soon on the topic of why I haven't been attending school for the past semester (and why it was the best choice for me). I'll go more into detail on this later, but I spent a long time -- months, actually -- trying to justify to myself that this was right and everyone else was wrong about me. It was a huge struggle, and there's much more detail on that over here.
• Some people leave because you're better off without them. I've had several people walk out of my life (or do something that caused me to walk out of their's) in recent years, and to be honest, none of it was easy. Some of these people were people I struggled not to go back to (one of my former closest friends in particular), but in the past year, I've reflected a lot on those people and realized I really am better off without them. Some people are toxic, and as long as you're around them, you can't really realize how they're doing more harm than good in your life. I really realized that I don't need people who are going to bring me down.
• "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches." I guess this is kind of cheating because it's a quote (by Dita Von Teese, if you were at all curious), but it's true. I can't be liked by everyone, and trying to be liked by everyone was really bringing me down. Some people just won't like you, and you can't do anything to change that. You should still live to be the best you that you can be, but that doesn't mean people will like you.
• Your real friends will reveal themselves at your lowest points. Some people who I thought were my closest friends weren't there for me at all when I needed them most, and some of my best friends (who I didn't realize at the time were my best friends) were going out on a limb for me at that time. Hell, I had a friend who offered to take a five hour bus ride (and then five hours back) to see me for a single night in case I needed someone. 
• Living to please everyone isn't going to make them like you any better, so be who makes you happy. I guess this is very similar to the Dita Von Teese quote, only this time I realized that I wasn't even being the best me -- I was being the best someone else. Having other people like you for being someone you're not isn't a better feeling than having them not like you for who you actually are. 
• I love navy blue. This one is so dumb, I'm sorry, but I had to include it. I used to not own ANY navy blue (because I really hate blavy -- navy blue and black together and I owned a lot of black). But now I have some navy blue and I'm seriously in love. I can't stop. 
• I'm not easily embarrassed, so I have no excuse to not be myself. The other ones I feel like were more general and applied to everyone, but in the past year, for me in particular, I've realized that I have an extremely low level of shame (like when people ask me to identify my most embarrassing moment, I can't do it, because I don't really experience long term embarrassment... Like if I do something embarrassing in that moment I'll be a little embarrassed, but I can't remember it later). I don't know if that's good or bad overall, but it's been good for me in the sense that I no longer feel like I can't be myself because who I really am might be "embarrassing." 

I've obviously learned a lot of other things, but a lot of them are silly or less major or fall somewhat into the categories of the above listed. Also I didn't want this post getting ridiculously long! Happy almost New Year! I'll be back for sure on Tuesday with my New Year's resolutions post. 

xx, kristina